etc.

I once had an English professor (a failed novelist who taught a handful of courses on longer fiction genres, the most gracious man you ever met) who always invited the class into the faculty lounge during coffee breaks, offering free coffee and, sometimes, assorted baked goods. The class was small (8 of us, I think), and oftentimes, I was the only one who took him up on his offer (it was back in my contrary coffee-drinking days). The coffee was never very good, but it was warm and free, the only two qualities of any importance to a poor undergrad, and the faculty lounge, being scantily appointed, only offered those little non-dairy creamers by way of whitener. At the time, I drank my coffee with no-sugar and a quick dash of milk, and always (always) mistrusted non-dairy creamers, so when he asked me what I would like in my coffee, I’d say “nothing, thanks”, and every single time he would respond with “you drink your coffee black? What, do you also smoke cigars [guffaw, guffaw]?” Every. Single. Time.

This is a propos of nothing at all.