etc.

I got a call from my credit card company about a month ago informing me that there had been “some suspicious activity” on my credit card that resulted in the cancellation of said card and issue of replacement. On the one hand I was appreciative of their diligence in looking out for one lowly cardholder (which, in fact, was diligence in looking out for themselves because there’s almost zero liability on my part and 100% liability on theirs, but then they probably have insurance to cover that sort of thing), but on the other hand, I was just curious. What sort of suspicious activity? I asked. They couldn’t tell me, not because of anything other than that the call came from their customer service people, not the investigations people who are the ones with the real goods.

In a bizarre display of pure coincidence, that very same evening I received a receipt for $764.54 from Gina Shoes in Los Angeles. Now, you have to know that if I am spending that kind of money all at once it is either for airline tickets or a new washer and dryer, not for three pairs of shoes. That’s right, three pairs of shoes. So it was not diligence that tipped off the investigations department at Credit Card Headquarters, it was a simple no-brainer.

Relatedly, I called all two of the service providers that use my credit card for automatic monthly payments to alert them to the situation and provide my new card number. It seems that this information was lost in the shuffle over at the payment office of my cellular provider, which is fine, these things have a way of happening. What wasn’t fine was them calling me on my cell phone last night as I was driving home from work, to tell me that there was a problem with the card and could they please have a different card number? Again, I’m no truculent customer until sheer ignorance and disregard impinge upon my otherwise levelheaded deportment. What followed:

me: Did you try and contact me at home before calling me on my cell phone?
her: No ma’am.
me: Why would you possibly think it’s OK to call me on my cell phone when you know I am paying for minutes?
her: Because we know your cell phone number.
me: Are you going to discount from my bill the time I am spending talking to you?
her: No ma’am.
me: And most importantly, how could you possibly think that I would give you my credit card number over an unsecure phone line?
her: Ummm…well…should I call you at home ma’am?
me: Yes. I know you have my home phone number.
her: Yes, we do. Shall I call you right now ma’am?
me: Well, no. I’m in my car right now.